Conservatives at Local Bar Nostalgically Recall the “Good Old Days” of Showing Up to Protests With Assault Rifles

KENOSHA, WI (MEMORY LANE) — A group of middle-aged conservatives gathered this weekend at a dimly lit sports bar to reminisce about what they lovingly referred to as “the summer of freedom,” when they drove across state lines armed with AR-15s, sidearms, and enough ammunition to invade a small nation — all in the name of “helping” during the 2020 protests.

“Man, those were the days,” said Chuck, swirling his light beer like a fine wine. “Just us, our rifles, Facebook rumors, and the strong urge to cosplay Call of Duty in real life.”

The table erupted in laughter as another man pulled up a photo on his phone of himself in tactical gear standing in front of a burned-out storefront.

“Look at us,” he said proudly. “Didn’t even know who owned the business. But damn, we were protecting it.”

“Remember Rittenhouse?” One Asks, Smiling

Conversation soon drifted to their favorite nostalgic moment.

“Remember when that kid Rittenhouse showed up?” said Dave, grinning. “Two protesters dead, one wounded. Wild times.”

The group burst into laughter, clinking bottles.

“Yeah,” another added, “media tried to make it a big deal. But come on — it was basically a live-action Second Amendment demo.”

One man wiped tears from his eyes. “Funniest part is they called it violence. Buddy, we call that community engagement.”

The Rules of Armed Protests, According to Them

Between sips, the men explained the unspoken logic of showing up to civil unrest armed like a small paramilitary unit.

“See, when we bring guns to protests, it’s patriotism,” Chuck explained patiently. “When other people do it, it’s a threat.”

They nodded in agreement, as if this were basic constitutional law.

“Context matters,” Dave added. “Our context was we were conservatives with rifles. Their context is they’re… not us.”

Then Someone Mentions Minneapolis

The mood shifted slightly when one man brought up a recent incident.

“Did you hear about that protester in Minneapolis?” he said. “Federal law enforcement shot him. Guy had a legal firearm on him.”

The table went quiet for a beat.

Then Chuck shrugged.

“Well that’s different.”

“Totally different,” another agreed quickly.

“Yeah,” Dave said. “No one shot at us in Kenosha.”

“Because we were better armed than the police,” Chuck finished, as if explaining gravity.

The group nodded thoughtfully, having cracked the mystery of selective outrage.

Freedom Works Best When You Outgun the Government

They reflected on how times have changed.

“Back then, the cops were careful,” one man said wistfully. “You roll up with an AR-15 and 300 rounds, suddenly law enforcement’s all polite and calling you ‘sir.’”

“Now someone shows up with one gun and suddenly it’s a problem,” another scoffed. “What happened to freedom?”

The irony hovered over the table like cigarette smoke, completely unnoticed.

A Brief History of ‘Helping’

The group proudly recounted their version of heroism:

• driving into a volatile protest zone

• armed like soldiers

• having no legal authority

• no connection to the community

• no idea what was happening

“But we felt like we were doing something,” Dave said. “And isn’t that what matters?”

When asked what exactly they helped with, the men paused.

“Well… we stood around,” Chuck said. “Looked intimidating. Took pictures. And someone died, but that wasn’t on us. Mostly.”

The Nostalgia of Zero Self-Awareness

As the night wound down, the men toasted once more.

“To freedom,” Chuck said.

“To standing your ground,” Dave added.

“To the good old days when you could bring an assault rifle to a protest and not get shot,” another chimed in.

They drank deeply.

Across the bar, a TV played news footage of ongoing protests and debates about gun rights, policing, and political violence. None of them looked.

“Crazy world now,” Chuck said. “People can’t even protest armed anymore without consequences.”

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. “Country’s gone soft.”

They sat in comfortable silence, missing a time when showing up to chaos with superior firepower was celebrated as patriotism — and when the same rules somehow never applied to anyone else.