BREAKING: White House Introduces New "Fake Facts" Designation to Combat Dangerous Outbreak of Accurate Information
Washington, D.C. — In what administration officials are calling "the most important press freedom initiative since the invention of television, maybe ever," the White House announced Monday the creation of a new federal classification system designed to protect Americans from what Chief Communications Strategist Chad Bullhorn described as "an epidemic of unauthorized facts." The initiative, titled the Verified Accurate Information Labeling (VAIL) Act , will empower a newly formed Office of Fact Authenticity to review all publicly stated facts and determine which ones are real facts and which are "fake facts" — a dangerous new category of information defined loosely as "anything that doesn't make the President sound incredible." "People are out there saying things like 'the unemployment numbers are X' or 'the temperature was Y degrees,'" Bullhorn told reporters at a briefing where all the clocks had been removed. ...