Elon Musk’s Secret Children: Reports Suggest Billionaire May Have Over 150 Undocumented Offspring on Welfare
Austin, TX — In a revelation that has shocked the world (but somehow not really), new reports indicate that billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk may have fathered over 150 undocumented children, many of whom are now reportedly receiving government assistance.
Musk, known for his ambition to colonize Mars and revolutionize transportation, appears to have also taken on an unexpected side project—single-handedly repopulating Earth.
"The More, The Merrier" – Musk’s Reproductive Strategy
Musk, who has long advocated for increasing global birth rates, has never been shy about his procreation philosophy. “If we don’t make more humans, civilization will collapse,” he tweeted last year. But what he failed to mention is that he was personally leading the effort.
According to whistleblowers within Musk’s orbit (and, possibly, SpaceX), there could be at least 150 undocumented children, with estimates climbing higher. Many of these children allegedly remain unclaimed—except by the welfare system.
“It’s actually very American,” said one expert. “Here we have the world’s richest man with an army of government-funded offspring. If that’s not capitalism, I don’t know what is.”
Welfare Queens… But Make It Musk
The shocking part of the Musk Baby Boom isn’t just the sheer number of heirs, but the financial reality: most of them have reportedly been raised on taxpayer-funded programs. While their father amasses billions in subsidies from NASA and Tesla tax breaks, dozens of his children are allegedly surviving off food stamps, Medicaid, and subsidized housing.
“They’re not my problem,” Musk reportedly said in a leaked email. “I’m focused on humanity’s future, and honestly, these kids should be grateful they even exist.”
Baby Factories and Broken Systems
Critics have been quick to highlight the irony of the situation. “This man claims to hate socialism, yet his alleged children are basically wards of the state,” said one commentator. “If we wanted to talk about an elite welfare crisis, maybe we should start with that.”
Despite the controversy, Musk remains unbothered. When asked if he had any intention of financially supporting his mystery brood, he replied:
“Look, I’m busy. I’ve got a spaceship to build, Twitter to break, and AI to perfect. Besides, if the government is paying for them, isn’t that just… innovation?”
Disclaimer: This article is satirical and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real-life events is purely coincidental—unless, of course, it turns out to be true.
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