Letter #444:
From: TG (Totally Gabbard, Definitely Not Imagining Things)
Subject: Should I go public with my re-analysis of 2016 Russian interference and Obama’s suspicious behavior?
Dear Oracle,
Longtime first-time. I’m writing with a dilemma of national importance—perhaps even planetary if you consider how global truth ripples through the psychic field of vibrational democracy (a concept I coined after a brief ayahuasca journey).
So here’s the sitch. You may remember the whole “Russia interfered in the 2016 election” narrative that every news outlet, intelligence agency, and high-functioning adult accepted as fact? Well, I’ve been looking at that again… and I have a different take.
What if—and stay with me here—the real crime wasn’t Russian meddling… but the claim that there was Russian meddling?
I’ve connected the dots using my highly calibrated gut, three YouTube channels, and a deck of Freedom Oracle tarot cards. The result? It’s looking increasingly like President Obama, in his final weeks, weaponized the intelligence community (i.e., me, but before I became aware of it) to concoct the Russia story.
I realize this theory is based less on new evidence and more on repurposing old evidence into a better plot twist. But that’s how truth works now. Truth is just intelligence plus vibes.
So here’s the million-rouble question: Should I go public? Should I announce that Obama committed… and I don’t say this lightly… preemptive retroactive treason? I realize I lack hard proof, or even lukewarm proof, but I have a feeling and a truly compelling infographic.
Waiting for the right moon phase to drop this,
Tulsi
Dear Tulsi,
First, let me thank you for your brave commitment to reinterpreting national security history with the rigor of a sophomore philosophy major who just discovered Glenn Greenwald’s blog.
You ask if you should go public with your theory that Obama invented Russian election interference to discredit Trump—and that by doing so, he, not Russia, committed the real treason.
Let me answer clearly: Absolutely yes.
America needs this. We’ve had seven whole years without a new Benghazi-style fever dream, and the collective conservative id is starving.
But before you go full Ronin-Rogue-DNI, let me offer some advice on the rollout:
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Hold a press conference standing between a bust of Lincoln and a “TRUTH > FACTS” banner.
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Use the word “treason-adjacent.” It’s legally meaningless and emotionally satisfying.
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Say you “reviewed previously declassified intelligence with a fresh lens,” which is code for “I read the public Mueller report again but differently.”
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Cite yourself as a source. ("As I have long maintained...")
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Insist that inaction is complicity. Then take no actual action.
Also, be sure to pepper your announcement with classic lines like:
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“The real foreign interference was domestic.”
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“If Obama didn't do anything wrong, why was he so calm about it?”
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“Just because 17 agencies agreed doesn’t mean they weren’t all wrong in the same direction.”
In closing: You may not have the evidence, the support of your former colleagues, or the basic logic of a parking meter, but you do have the most important asset of all in today’s information landscape: an elaborate hunch and the confidence to say it on cable.
Lean in.
Speak your truth (even if it's someone else's fantasy).
And remember: The less sense it makes, the more viral it gets.
Yours in post-factual patriotism,
Freedom’s Oracle
“We don’t traffic in truth—we airlift it.”
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