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BREAKING: Antifa and FBI Admit to Jointly Producing “January 6th: The Musical”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A shocking new theory from the conservative imagination claims that the January 6th storming of the Capitol was not the work of MAGA supporters but rather a joint production by Antifa and the FBI. According to the theory, hundreds of peaceful Trump fans had merely come to D.C. to admire the rotunda’s architecture when suddenly they were dragged inside, handed Viking helmets, and told to pose for incriminating photos.

FBI Casting Call

Sources say the FBI held auditions weeks in advance, searching for “men in camo with strong shouting voices.” Antifa provided the costumes, which reportedly included American flag capes, Confederate flags, and custom T-shirts reading Camp Auschwitz.

“Look, we had to make it look authentic,” said one Antifa organizer. “You can’t stage a coup without at least three dudes climbing the Capitol walls like Spider-Man.”

Innocent Patriots, Wrong Place Wrong Time

MAGA attendees insist they were framed. “I only walked through the broken window because an Antifa guy politely opened it for me,” explained one man sentenced to five years in prison. “Next thing I know, I’m being accused of smashing police barricades, which is ridiculous. I don’t even own a barricade.”

Another protestor swore he was just trying to find the bathroom. “I asked an FBI agent dressed as George Washington where the restroom was, and suddenly I’m in Nancy Pelosi’s office holding her lectern. Pure coincidence.”

The Stolen Election (Still)

Conservatives argue this entire FBI-Antifa Broadway production was designed to cover up the 2020 election, which, according to them, was so stolen it should now qualify as grand larceny. “They had to distract America with images of MAGA folks breaking things,” one commentator said. “If they hadn’t, people would’ve noticed the ballots were obviously printed on bamboo paper from China.”

Antifa Responds

When asked for comment, Antifa released a statement: “We’d love to take credit for January 6th, but honestly, we were busy that day attending a vegan potluck and arguing over fonts for our anarchist zine.”

Final Act

In the end, the FBI successfully arrested hundreds of Trump supporters who all swear they were framed while coincidentally livestreaming themselves committing felonies. Conservatives now vow to tell the true story of January 6th by producing their own documentary titled When Tourists Attack.

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