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Trump Finally Trusts the Deep State—When It’s Blowing Up Stuff in Venezuela

After years of dismissing America’s intelligence agencies as “the deep state,” “liars,” and “worse than Democrats,” President Trump has finally found a use for them: blowing up Venezuelan narco-terrorists.

“This time the CIA got it right,” Trump announced from his golf cart. “They said there were bad hombres in Venezuela, and we took them out. Big win. The best win. Everyone’s talking about it.”

From “Hoax” to “Hellfire Missile”

It’s a remarkable turnaround. Not long ago, Trump claimed that U.S. intelligence reports about Russian election interference were a “witch hunt” and intelligence briefings were “a waste of my very, very valuable time.”

Now? Those same agencies are suddenly “the best in the world, maybe ever,” when they’re handing him targets he can strike with drones. Apparently, nothing restores faith in intelligence like the satisfying sound of a Hellfire missile.

Intelligence With a Side of Contradiction

Critics point out the hypocrisy: “So, the CIA lies about Russia but tells the truth about Venezuelan fentanyl kingpins?” asked one analyst. “That’s like saying your mechanic always rips you off—except when he fixes your brakes by accident.”

But Trump was unfazed. “The intelligence community doesn’t always lie,” he clarified. “They just lie about me. When they talk about other people, sometimes they tell the truth. Especially when I can blow them up. Very fair people when you think about it.”

The New Trump Doctrine

The episode has inspired what aides are calling the Trump Doctrine of Selective Trust:

  • If intel makes Trump look bad → Fake news.

  • If intel provides targets Trump can bomb → Best intel ever, folks.

The Pentagon is reportedly preparing to test the doctrine in other areas, such as whether Trump believes North Korea’s missile program is real this week, or a “hoax” until he needs an excuse to drop something.

Closing Line

In the meantime, America’s intelligence agencies have learned a valuable lesson: if you want the President to believe you, just add explosives. As one CIA officer put it, “We stopped trying to change his mind with facts. Turns out Tomahawk missiles are a much better PowerPoint.”

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