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FBI Finally Arrests January 6 Pipe Bomber; MAGA Twitter Declares “Total Exoneration” Because Suspect Happens to Hate Trump

Liberals Respond: “Yes… that actually tracks perfectly with what happened.”

In a development that has stunned exactly zero behavioral scientists but has sent MAGA Twitter into a victory conga line, the FBI announced today the arrest of the long-mysterious January 6 pipe bomber. The suspect, to the collective delight of the Trump-sphere, is reportedly a Black man who openly disliked Donald Trump.

Within minutes, MAGA influencers erupted online with jubilant posts celebrating what they called “proof that January 6 was a peaceful multicultural yoga retreat interrupted only by antifa.” Hashtags included #MAGAWasRight, #CaseClosed.

One prominent poster declared:

“Boom! He hated Trump! That means Trump supporters had NOTHING to do with January 6! Stop the witch hunt! (Except the one for Nancy Pelosi’s laptop.)”

Another wrote:

“Told you it was antifa. Or BLM. Or Obama. Or George Soros. Or maybe Beyoncé. We had so many theories.”

Meanwhile, liberals responded with what experts are calling “the sigh heard round the world.”

“Yeah… this actually makes total sense?” one wrote. “Trump explicitly told his supporters he would be marching to the Capitol with them to stop the certification. He didn’t go—of course—but they did. If someone who hated Trump planted bombs, that doesn’t change any of that. Two things can be true. It’s not that complicated.”

Political analysts note that the new discovery has created a rare moment of bipartisan agreement:

Everyone is glad the bomber was caught.

But the agreement ends there.

MAGA Twitter insists the arrest means all of January 6 was a covert anti-Trump operation masterminded by a guy nobody had heard of until 20 minutes ago.

Liberals, in contrast, maintain the wild notion—controversial in some precincts—that the thousands of people who smashed windows, attacked police, erected gallows, smeared… substances… on walls, and chanted about the Vice President may still bear some responsibility for their actions.

When reached for comment, President Trump said:

“I always said the bomber wasn’t one of our people. Our people are patriots. They don’t plant bombs. They smear. Totally different energy, everybody knows that.”

The suspect is currently in federal custody. MAGA influencers are already preparing documentaries titled The Real January 6: The Black Guy Did It.

Liberals, exhausted, simply responded:

“Honestly? At this point? Sure. Whatever. Just put the guy on trial. And maybe next time don’t storm the Capitol?”

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