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Furious Trump Launches Federal Manhunt for “Secret Pee-ers” After Reflection Pool Turns Green

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After recently ordering an impromptu renovation of the National Mall’s Reflection Pool, President Donald Trump erupted in anger Monday when the water turned a murky shade of green, immediately demanding investigators determine “who made my beautiful pool disgusting.”

Witnesses say the president stood silently for several moments, staring at the algae-filled water before recalling a lesson from elementary school art class.

“Everybody knows blue plus yellow equals green,” Trump reportedly said, pointing at the pool. “The water was blue. Somebody added yellow. It’s basic science. Frankly, maybe too basic.”

Within minutes, the White House announced the formation of a special task force to investigate what officials described as “an organized and highly coordinated act of aquatic vandalism.”

“I’m hearing it was probably Democrats,” Trump said. “Maybe radical Democrats, maybe antifa, maybe both. But somebody peed in the pool. A lot of somebodys. Tremendous amounts.”

The president then ordered every security camera in the Washington area to be redirected toward identifying what he called “the secret pee-ers.”

According to administration sources, investigators have been instructed to search footage for “suspicious bladder-related activity,” including people crossing their legs, making unusually quick visits to public restrooms, or carrying water bottles “for who knows what reason.”

One senior official, speaking anonymously, admitted that several staff members attempted to explain that algae growth is caused by biological and environmental conditions rather than coordinated urination.

“He just shook his head,” the official said. “Then he drew a diagram with blue and yellow crayons and wrote ‘CASE CLOSED.’”

The administration has reportedly allocated $50 million for surveillance equipment, forensic water testing, and the creation of a national tip line encouraging Americans to report anyone they suspect of harboring anti-pool intentions.

At press time, investigators had identified several ducks as persons of interest.

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